Noah Cicero & Invitation to A Pity Party

Subject: “Please read this. I might off myself."

Mr. Cicero,

I am a frustrated human being. A few months ago, I was laid off from a decently-paying job and now I have my disabled mother to care for with meager earnings as musical sideman. After reading your book, The Human War, I decided I would try to write a book, as I’d been putting the damned thing off since I finished college (and nothing has gotten better). I admire you as a writer and would appreciate your criticism of my novella and two short stories. I think you’ll be honest with me, as you’ve been honest everyone else. If they suck, please—and this cannot be emphasized—let me know. I am at crossroads in my life and need to make important decisions soon.

Sincerely,

M.

*

I emailed Noah Cicero because I finished a substantial piece of fiction. It’s a great feeling, but the elation is gone. I’m now forced to reflect on the years which led up to the production of Volta: A Novella.

I’m sure I’m not the only one (Jesus, John Lennon). I graduated from the University of Central Florida (UCF) in 2012. With my distinguished BA in English, I worked several odd jobs. None of them paid well, and I’m still not rich. This has had the unfortunate consequence of making me exceedingly neurotic. I don’t know what to make of my future.

My ticks eventually drove my mother insane, so she’s kicking me out of the house. I’m going to take a working holiday in Tampa, Florida as a paid bass player. If I have lesson to impart, it’s this: Craigslist will get you farther in life than a degree.

I cut my perfect job-interview hair last night. This is what I have now:

I’m inaugurating this blog with these words because this is a blood-letting.

Fuck college.

Fuck Corporate America.

Is there anything like freedom anymore?

*

So stay tuned, or whatever it is they say. I’m going to post interesting anecdotes, along with guttertrash literature, in the coming weeks. 

If you’re interested in purchasing my hopeless novella, Volta, you can find it here:

http://www.lulu.com/shop/melek-bonpartie-cocteau/volta/paperback/product-21285080.html

It makes a terrible gift and you can spite ex-lovers and family members with this dubious gesture.